Pretending like she is the expert.

I used to always fall for it, being the typical gullible INFP. I see how she can sometimes alienate others who do not understand this type.


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One of my good friend is an ENTJ. I surely hope I can interact with you, Corin! I am most certain to learn so much from your rich experience as an INFP! March 31st, at 7: Hope you write more about yours. Is there something to this? November 3rd, at 8: When it comes to relationships, most people by default tend to enter relationships to balance out perceived voids. If you perceive fun as missing from your life then fun becomes something you value.

In turn, you try to meet fun people to fill that perceived void. Basically, you get attracted to people who you think will fill missing pieces in your life. Some of the things you want to fill may be more prevalent in some personality types than others. However, what a person perceives is missing is very individualized based on history and not personality.

INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility

ENFPs tend to be more physically affectionate, happy-go-lucky, emotionally warmer, etc. He began dating another INTJ a week after breaking off the engagement. Is there any way to explain this random behavior using his personality type? I am rather confused about it because we had been almost exactly like you and your relationship.

It is a growth-oriented relationship. A good relationship for the long run! We can barely put two sentences together around each other because we both get incredibly nervous. How can two introverts get to know each other like that?

Share your thoughts

We just need to get past the initial stages of getting to know each other somehow. I would urge extreme care if dating one of these more organised, together, commander types. My other half grew tired of having to be my mother, as she put it. Taking care of me. After a while I just let her have her way, not by joining in immediately, but letting her get on with doing what she enjoys: We actually met in art college, but really, she was always destined to become the Senior Project Manager that she is at work and at home.


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At the very least, show as much appreciation as you can — constantly — for what your more organised partners do for you. October 31st, at I would love to hear from you. To be fair, accurate self-evaluation can be a problem for all J-types, since their preferred mode of Judging Fe or Te is directed outwardly rather than inwardly. This is one reason why typology can be so useful for INTJs, as well as other types. One of the hallmarks of Fi is a desire to preserve and defend the uniqueness of the individual.

Related to a strong concern for the individual is the Fi desire to aid the weak, helpless, and marginalized of society. This is why IFPs, for instance, can often be found helping the homeless, working with children with special needs, protecting endangered species, etc.


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  • Once we add Fi into the mix, it is not hard to see how INTJs might be attracted, even if unconsciously, to rescuing and fixing those who seem needy or helpless. The relationship then becomes a sort of psychotherapeutic forum, with the INTJ working to analyze, diagnose, and treat his wounded partner. It zeroes in on the unique features of the individual and grows deeply attached to those qualities. While INTJs may not experience the consistent strength of feeling that FP types do, they are nonetheless influenced by the less conscious workings of Fi, which helps inspire loyalty, love, and commitment.

    This makes it a highly alluring function, powerful enough to inspire a fierce and protracted tug-of-war with the dominant function. Money also relates to status, another Se-related desire. They may, for instance, feel forced to perform unfulfilling work that fails to utilize their Ni-Te gifts. Or, they may struggle when the quality of a product or accuracy of information is compromised for the sake of marketability.

    INTJs also hate having to act before their intuition has prompted them to do so.

    All of this can make the work life of INTJs rather miserable as they struggle to find a compromise between their Ni and Se concerns. Even the idea of compromise can be loathsome to INTJs, since their idealism and perfectionism are so pronounced. This perfectionism tends to be most acute when they attempt to directly control Se outcomes, such as when making art, performing, or obsessing over money or status. When functioning healthily in Ni, however, they rarely fall into the obsessive grip of perfectionism.

    INTJ Relationships, Love, & Compatibility

    With that said, pairing with an SFP rarely brings lasting satisfaction to INTJs, since, as introverts, their wholeness must come from the inside out, rather than vice-versa. INTJs may also happen upon other NJs in their work settings, especially in scientific, academic, or tech-related fields. She has dreams and inspirations, and he has the drive and dedication to make it happen.

    They work so well together, and it's pretty interesting to see The day she put a picture up on facebook, and he was actually smiling, I had to laugh to myself.

    I do have a strange fascination with INFPs, because they are such deep feelers, but they seem to use it to build themselves up, which is a strange concept to me. It's like they're deep feelers, and we're deep thinkers. The only concern I'd personally have is that of possible depression. I get depressed at random, just because I'm chemically imbalanced. My concern would be that living with someone that deeply emotional, and prone to depression, would cause me to be depressed more often.

    This might not be a problem at all for you. I don't know how prone to depression either of you are. But it might be something to look into. I'm guessing that a year later the issue of the relationship has been resolved However, since others may read the comments, I decided I would add my experiences anyway. My situation almost exactly mirrors that of the OP. After my divorce, I dated a few different personality types but didn't settle down until I met my INTJ boyfriend of two years now.

    We are very similar in many ways, which is awesome. We always have fun together and like doing the same things an equal part of staying in and occasionally venturing out. Emotionally, though, I am very expressive and communicative and he is not. In fact, discussions about emotions, feelings, and the future freak him out. He admittedly feels very "awkward" when I ask him to discuss serious topics related to these things. However, I do believe he recognizes this about himself and tries to be more emotionally available to me.

    I am much more adventurous than he is, and he is very obsessed with saving money whereas I live paycheck to paycheck and have no issues spending the little extra I have on travel and adventure. He likes things to be orderly, but I don't mind a little chaos. Overall, it has worked really well for us over the last two years I am in a relationship with my INTJ for a year now. I've known him 6 years ago and I wasn't old or mature enough so I friendzoned him, or so to speak, then I told him I like him, and things changed and stumbled between us.

    But last year he came to a point where his indecessiveness towards our commitment was about to make him lose me, and it's when he actually made up his mind. Everything is going very well. Sometimes, he doesn't seem to wanna talk. I am more into discussing interesting topics as INFP, I am also very affectionate and expressing, but he is different.

    He doesn't always express and mostly avoids discussions lately. I worry sometimes, but I know things are not going as well as he wants so I'm just grateful that he makes time for me daily, and actually never misses to tell me that he loves me everyday. I hope for things to keep going fine. He sees things very black and white, where as I do not. In our relationship he is very calculated in what he says and does, to the point that there is no natural flow in talking about the important things in life, and transparency is important to me.